It has always fascinated me to see how my friends bargain and bargain with rikshawalas till their voices crack. The thin man with grim- looking eyes and lips parched is only trying to earn enough to pay for his rentals of the riksha (it usually belongs to someone else) and save some for his family. The same friends I have seen travel in high-class taxi service in the city without any problem or complain. The rikshawala is contributing to the saving of carbon credit of the nation – he actually deserves to be paid extra.

I have seen well to do families saving imported snacks and canned food for special guests and occasions. More than serving the guests it’s usually about making a statement about their own taste and style. Such affluent people always have so much that they forget all that they have stored in greed. It rots away in their cupboards but the one person who works in that house as a maid for mere survival no greater ambition in life than to eat better food each day and provide better food for her children doesn’t get to even smell it. I have seen all that canned and imported stuff go right into garbage bin. I feel that’s injustice.

Injustice is present in our attitude towards people who are vulnerable, weaker and unfortunate in life. In a society we are supposed to bring a balance by helping the poor and weaker to cross over. But each day I have come across such a mentality in us that we are willing to lavish over who doesn’t even need (for whatever reasons we do that) but we refuse the one who desperately needs our help. For instance – the worst negotiators of the salary are people who are in desperate positions – if not this job they have got nothing else. And they end up getting underpaid. The office attendant, the cleaner, the chaiwala, the field assistants, sometimes even drivers are poor in negotiating – they are literally at the mercy of their employers. Just because they have given their employers the right to determine their value – the employers put them up on a jumble sale price.

On the other hand people who come dressed well, with a long list of achievements, (they have many options – if not here they can go else where) with their sense of security and confidence make the best in negotiating payments. The employers feel shy to quote anything less that may offend or question the value of the person sitting. They are careful and usually give in and hire people on high salary – sometimes beyond what the candidate truly deserves. It’s injustice.

It’s more painful to see this sort of injustice plaguing Christian churches and organizations. I see it with my own eyes. We change the concepts and strategies of our programs to reach out people with the gospel of Jesus Christ but we forge to change our own mindsets. We work to promote Bible but do not function ourselves based on the biblical principles. Instead we function based on the value that works in this world.

If we are taking advantage of poor and weaker people, if we are considering them nothing but mere walking talking tools, if we treat them inferior than ourselves then we are carrying the worst kind of injustice within us.

The journey with God means for me to live in a tent. To keep moving on – and nothing around me will be permanent.  I will be a light traveler. I will not carry heavy baggage in this journey. It means I don’t attach values to things and experiences here. The only thing that’s precious to me is – the Kingdom of God. So the worries of future, busyness of a job, pressures of a program or ministry – none of it will have power to distract me from this journey. Everyday I will wake up to his voice, my spirit will feed on fresh manna and with the creator I will be in the business of creating – something that’s beautiful, peaceful and full of love – in me and in others.

With a sense of being on this journey with God, now my walk will be different. I will no longer live like a civilian exposed and vulnerable to attacks of the enemy. But as a soldier of the kingdom I will be very sure of my salvation, sure of my identity as a son of most high and will shield my heart with total faith in Christ. Fear and doubt will have no hold over me. I will trust the voice I hear. I will willingly meet the demands made on me. I will volunteer for challenges that refine me. I will trust in God’s love and love him back.

God redeemed Israelites from Egypt – to offer sacrifice and worship Him. He set them on a journey to bring them to a place – a place where they can forget the work, the slavery and all the bad things that were present in their life and just focus on God and worship him. See his wonderful work and glorify Him. Likewise I was redeemed and released in this journey of God to worship and offer my sacrifices to him. My devotion and loyalty is reserved only for God. My time, my thoughts, my passion, my admiration – He alone is worthy of it all.

In newness and freshness I should begin my day. God, what’s for today, I should ask him everyday. God loves speaking to us. God spoke to Moses and Aron when he was scheming the redemption of His people from Egypt. He works the same today. Moses had a tiny small part to play in the big and wondrous work of God. What’s that small part that I need to play today? (If what Moses did was tiny mine would be tinier as my pastor’s wife commented).  Is it to forgive or to love? Is it to receive and embrace? Is it to bless or to heal? If I am available and waiting on God – He will surely speak to me.

I have got nothing to lose – nothing to risk. God is the one risking everything to have me on his journey. He is in risk of my rejection, my mis-interpretation, and my limitation. Sometimes I could get it totally wrong. Yet, he has set me on his journey as a partaker, as a daughter. And I know it’s not about me – but about God. What my God my King likes, wants and does – that’s all that matters in God’s journey.

I could choose to stay ignorant n aloof but then it means I am choosing to become an inactive and ineffective citizen of the Kingdom. And who knows when my passport date expires and then I will no longer be of the Kingdom. So the renewal of my identity in the Kingdom needs to be worked on daily basis. I need to open my inner eyes to the spiritual reality of God’s Kingdom and my roles and responsibility in it. And realise how my personal choices puts the Kingdom either in the losing battle or in the winning battle.

People who have the Kingdom of God in them are those who seek righteousness, peace and joy. Am I seeking holiness of God? Am I at peace with my self, with others and with God? Is there joy bubbling from my heart? These are indications of having the Kingdom of God inside us. To have the Kingdom of God in me means I am living an abundant life. Like Jesus said, spring of water will flow out of your heart. The energy, excitement, motivation, inspiration, strength, joy and peace will spring forth from our hearts.

It is possible that we are moving in and out of the Kingdom of God. It is also possible that there are certain areas in our lives that’s surrendered and part of the Kingdom of God and certain areas of our lives not yet surrendered. So the challenge before me is to know who I am in God, what’s my role in the Kingdom, and what position/authority do I have in the Kingdom and move forward believing in that truth not alone but along with other Kingdom People.

The practicality of this truth is to be always aware of the Kingdom of God surrounding me. To honor, respect and seek the heart of the King everyday through personal relationship. To keep the kingdom central to my decisions in life. And to be willing to do anything to co operate in the Kingdom concerns – especially in restoring the system and people back to the King himself.

I forget that the life itself is a gift from God. The very breath I breathe is allowed by God. And every person in my life is ordained by God to be there to bless me in some way or the other. And every situation is allowed by God to shape me up. I forget that God has a plan for me – plans to bless me. I am so full of my self and my own desires that I fail to understand what God desires is for me.

I live my life as if I am here for ever and ever. I don’t understand the sense of urgency that God feels. I spend my days doing things that please me and so seldom I seek what pleases my God who I claim to be my King. I call him my King but I bow down before something else.

I forget that a multitude is waiting on me – for me to take that one step of obedience to Christ. I make my choices as if it concerns only me and no one else. I am busy decorating my self with things that God gave me to bless others. I forget that weapons if not used will lose their sharpness and thus lose their very purpose.

I must remember I was created for Him. I must remember his love and care. With him I will live and without him I will wither.

That’s when we need to quickly shift our focus. It’s so important to know what we feed ourselves with. The things we look at, the things we absorb in our hearts and minds, the things we hold and keep.

Beauty, creativity, gratefulness, and word of God are instant push to feeling inspired. Watching inspiring videos, reading inspiring quotes, going for a walk in a beautiful park, going for an art exhibition, or ready for a game with kids/peers just shifts our focus from dullness to great excitement. Allowing these excitements to really sink in and asking God to help – that’s the ultimate remedy to reinvigorating our interest in life and in what we do.

I draw inspiration from books, neatly produced videos and the Bible. ( In that order ha ha ha) I keep digging…browsing…watching…until something really lifts up my spirit. Without inspiration  life would feel like a classroom with a maths teacher. [I really hate maths ]

Here are seven suggestions to help you transcend ingrained ideas of self-importance. All of these are designed to help prevent you from falsely identifying with the self-important ego.

1.      Stop being offended.  The behavior of others isn’t a reason to be immobilized. That which offends you only weakens you. If you’re looking for occasions to be offended, you’ll find them at every turn. This is your ego at work convincing you that the world shouldn’t be the way it is. But you can become an appreciator of life and match up with the universal Spirit of Creation. You can’t reach the power of intention by being offended. By all means, act to eradicate the horrors of the world, which emanate from massive ego identification, but stay in peace. As A Course in Miracles reminds us: Peace is of God, you who are part of God are not at home except in his peace. Being is of God, you who are part of God are not at home except in his peace. Being offended creates the same destructive energy that offended you in the first place and leads to attack, counterattack, and war.

2.      Let go of your need to win.  Ego loves to divide us up into winners and losers. The pursuit of winning is a surefire means to avoid conscious contact with intention. Why? Because ultimately, winning is impossible all of the time. Someone out there will be faster, luckier, younger, stronger, and smarter-and back you’ll go to feeling worthless and insignificant.

You’re not your winnings or your victories. You may enjoy competing, and have fun in a world where winning is everything, but you don’t have to be there in your thoughts. There are no losers in a world where we all share the same energy source. All you can say on a given day is that you performed at a certain level in comparison to the levels of others on that day. But today is another day, with other competitors and new circumstances to consider. You’re still the infinite presence in a body that’s another day (or decade) older. Let go of needing to win by not agreeing that the opposite of winning is losing. That’s ego’s fear. If your body isn’t performing in a winning fashion on this day, it simply doesn’t matter when you aren’t identifying exclusively with your ego. Be the observer, noticing and enjoying it all without needing to win a trophy. Be at peace, and match up with the energy of intention. And ironically, although you’ll hardly notice it, more of those victories will show up in your life as you pursue them less.

3.      Let go of your need to be right. Ego is the source of a lot of conflict and dissension because it pushes you in the direction of making other people wrong. When you’re hostile, you’ve disconnected from the power of intention. The creative Spirit is kind, loving, and receptive; and free of anger, resentment, or bitterness. Letting go of your need to be right in your discussions and relationships is like saying to ego, I’m not a slave to you. I want to embrace kindness, and I reject your need to be right. In fact, I’m going to offer this person a chance to feel better by saying that she’s right, and thank her for pointing me in the direction of truth.

When you let go of the need to be right, you’re able to strengthen your connection to the power of intention. But keep in mind that ego is a determined combatant. I’ve seen people end otherwise beautiful relationships by sticking to their need to be right. I urge you to let go of this ego-driven need to be right by stopping yourself in the middle of an argument and asking yourself, Do I want to be right or be happy? When you choose the happy, loving, spiritual mood, your connection to intention is strengthened. These moments ultimately expand your new connection to the power of intention. The universal Source will begin to collaborate with you in creating the life you were intended to live.

4.      Let go of your need to be superior. True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else. It’s about being better than you used to be. Stay focused on your growth, with a constant awareness that no one on this planet is any better than anyone else. We all emanate from the same creative life force. We all have a mission to realize our intended essence; all that we need to fulfill our destiny is available to us. None of this is possible when you see yourself as superior to others. It’s an old saw, but nonetheless true: we are all equal in the eyes of God. Let go of your need to feel superior by seeing the unfolding of God in everyone. Don’t assess others on the basis of their appearance, achievements, possessions, and other indices of ego. When you project feelings of superiority that’s what you get back, leading to resentments and ultimately hostile feelings. These feelings become the vehicle that takes you farther away from intention. A Course in Miracles addresses this need to be special and superior: Special ness always makes comparisons. It is established by a lack seen in another, and maintained by searching for, and keeping clear in sight, all lacks it can perceive.

5.      Let go of your need to have more. The mantra of ego is more. It’s never satisfied. No matter how much you achieve or acquire, your ego will insist that it isn’t enough. You’ll find yourself in a perpetual state of striving, and eliminate the possibility of ever arriving. Yet in reality you’ve already arrived, and how you choose to use this present moment of your life is your choice. Ironically, when you stop needing more, more of what you desire seems to arrive in your life. Since you’re detached from the need for it, you find it easier to pass it along to others, because you realize how little you need in order to be satisfied and at peace.

The universal Source is content with itself, constantly expanding and creating new life, never trying to hold on to its creations for its own selfish means. It creates and lets go. As you let go of ego’s need to have more, you unify with that Source. You create, attract to yourself, and let it go, never demanding that more come your way. As an appreciator of all that shows up, you learn the powerful lesson St.Francis of Assisi taught:”…it is in giving that we receive.” By allowing abundance to flow to and through you, you match up with your Source and guarantee that this energy will continue to flow.

6.      Let go of identifying yourself on the basis of your achievements. This may be a difficult concept if you think you are your achievements. God writes all the music, God sings all the songs, God builds all the buildings, God is the source of all your achievements. I can hear your ego loudly protesting. Nevertheless, stay tuned to this idea. All emanates from Source! You and that Source are one! You’re not this body and its accomplishments. You are the observer. Notice it all; and be grateful for the abilities you’ve accumulated. But give all the credit to the power of intention, which brought you into existence and which you’re a materialized part of. The less you need to take credit for your achievements and the more connected you stay to the seven faces of intention, the more you’re free to achieve, and the more will show up for you. It’s when you attach yourself to those achievements and believe that you alone are doing all of those things that you leave the peace and the gratitude of your Source.

7.      Let go of your reputation. Your reputation is not located in you. It resides in the minds of others. Therefore, you have no control over it at all. If you speak to 30 people, you will have 30 reputations. Connecting to intention means listening to your heart and conducting yourself based on what your inner voice tells you is your purpose here. If you’re overly concerned with how you’re going to be perceived by everyone, then you’ve disconnected yourself from intention and allowed the opinions of others to guide you. This is your ego at work. It’s an illusion that stands between you and the power of intention. There’s nothing you can’t do, unless you disconnect from the power source and become convinced that your purpose is to prove to others how masterful and superior you are and spend your energy attempting to win a giant reputation among other egos. Do what you do because your inner voice always connected to and grateful to your Source-so directs you. Stay on purpose, detach from outcome, and take responsibility for what does reside in you: your character. Leave your reputation for others to debate; it has nothing to do with you. Or as a book title says: What You Think of Me Is None of My Business!

Related link www.drwaynedyer.com
Read another chapter from this book
Extract from There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Bitter-melon

This morning I was standing with hundred other people for Sunday worship. The worship team was singing “There is no one like you Lord…” I was doing my best to be in worship and not wander somewhere else where things were replaying like a movie in my mind. I really struggled to be present before the mighty God that everyone was praising.

People prayed their hearts out. And after a while the word came that there were some people needing emotional healing and God wanted to heal them from deep within. I was standing like an emotionless thing hard from inside. Suddenly a picture flashed before my eyes. It was green fresh bitter gourd. And I heard a voice – you are as bitter as this. I don’t know whose voice it was but that hardly mattered because I knew the voice was right. A few people who needed emotional healing this morning were the ones whom I had hurt. The picture of bitter gourd then held me occupied for quite some time. I have dealt with hurt of my past many times – but it just doesn’t seem to go.

Not long ago, one day I was traveling to office with my colleagues. We were talking about how a year had passed by so quickly. A year ago on the same month our office had moved to our present location. Suddenly it reminded me of an incident in which someone was so upset and angry with me for no fault of mine. And to be polite and cordial I had not expressed my disappointment and had not confronted for getting unreasonably upset and angry with me. Back to the car. As my colleagues were still talking about the inauguration party and the excitement I was raging with anger. I was muttering to my self – how come so and so treated me like this. A whole year later, I was still hurt and angry.

I read few articles on how to deal with bitterness. They say if you don’t have a forum to express your anger, if you have not confronted in love and if you have not forgiven someone you are letting bitter roots to grow inside of you. I know some people who show their anger right in the middle of things that caused them to anger, throwing everyone else in discomfort. And once the hour of anger passes by they just acknowledge it and are ready to move on. Easy, isn’t it? And there are others who have venting forum (some close friends and relatives) that they go and vent out. But there are some people like me who are afraid to express what they really feel. They appear to be open and honest because they do share their joys and sorrows openly. But when it comes to disappointments, hurt and anger – they just turn turtle. Hiding. Turning hard from outside. I read that if we don’t deal with the bitterness growing inside us, it will change us completely. We just become hard, cynic and negative person. I don’t know for how long I have been nurturing this bitter root to grow – maybe for last 15 or 20 years. I didn’t even realize when I changed into a hard, negative, and difficult to love kind of person.

Well the steps to dealing with bitterness they say starts with forgiveness. Where do I start? The list of the names is really long. I once forgave them all but I guess I didn’t really let go off the resentments. I remember the first time I came to Delhi, ritualistically I went through a random list of names and forgave them or asked God’s forgiveness. I wish the process in the heart could get as easy as that practice. I wish I could jut erase those memories and names from the list forever and be totally free. The more bitter I get the more bitterness I spread the more I lose chances of surrounding myself with love and kindness.

Once a friend who loves cooking said that to counter bitter or hot spicy taste one needs to add loads of sweetness to it. I guess love and kindness is the only way to counter the bitterness in heart. If you are lucky you would have a loving close knit family to run to at the end of the day. But if you are not then the danger is that the very few close friends you have managed to have will eventually be affected by your bitterness and you will lose any chance of surrounding your self with love and kindness. But if you are a person like me, I have a wild card, (that’s knowing Jesus) then we have access to ultimate love and kindness from God. It’s not the same as with people, just need to get spiritually tuned and we could always run to God whenever we run out of sweetness in our lives.

It’s not easy to be flashed a bitter gourd picture in the middle of your dhyan and bhakti. (devotion) but I guess that’s reality. That’s human. And that’s me and I have got to accept it and ask God to help me.

P.S. I think I am going to do a show around bitter gourd recipe and talk about dealing with bitterness in life.

Standing in the doorway. This is the word we as a church community have been receiving and believing. It means to stand in the entrance of something new with expectations. It means to stand in the place of access. There is a lot to it which I am still processing. Related to it I wrote a Hindi song. It will always remind me of my raw emotions and my shaky steps towards God and His purposes.

Main Khada hoon yaha ek nayee dwar par
Saari chahaton ko lekar saarey sapne sametkar
Prabhu mujhe aguvayee kar
Main khada hoon yaha ek nayee dwar par.

Kadam ho mere vishwas sey bhare
Dil ho bhara pyar sey
Tere rajya ki main khoj karoon
Jaisey koi motiyon ko dhundhe
Prabhu mujhe aguvayee kar
Main khada hoon yaha ek nayee dwar par

Basanta ki hawayien mujhe chhu le
bhar de mujhme ek naya rang
Pavitra aatma mujhe chhu le
Bhar de man main ek nayee umag
Prabhu mujhe aguvayee kar
Main khada hoon yaha ek nayee dwar par

Main Khada hoon yaha ek nayee dwar par
Saari chahaton ko lekar saarey sapne sametkar
Prabhu mujhe aguvayee kar
Main khada hoon yaha ek nayee dwar par.

And there is one more thing that I am so excited about. I want to make exotic pickles and jams. I have got few recipes and will experiment with it on coming weekends. If anything good comes out of it, I will have a story to blog about.

Here is the song I wrote yesterday:

Blow away Lord the thick dust of doubt
Wipe away Lord every hint of fear
Bring me face to face with your awesomeness
Looking deep – into your greatness

Holy one! I cling to your assurance
Holy one! Believing in your love…

I breathe your life in the deadness around
I speak freedom for every captive
Dancing with those who are happy and
Crying with those – who are broken

Holy one! I cling to your assurance
Holy one! Believing in your love…