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Sometimes I feel hurt by God. I feel God is so partial towards me, he is so hard on me, and he is teaching me a lesson, he is the one making it hard for me. So I keep resisting his love. At times I come to him with a humble heart but again I reason in my mind and go back to being angry with God. I don’t think I can resist his love. I couldn’t live without his love. My pride over my capabilities to control my life is so superficial. If God wants he could take it all away in seconds.

I forget that the life itself is a gift from God. The very breath I breathe is allowed by God. And every person in my life is ordained by God to be there to bless me in some way or the other. And every situation is allowed by God to shape me up. I forget that God has a plan for me – plans to bless me. I am so full of my self and my own desires that I fail to understand what God desires is for me.

I live my life as if I am here for ever and ever. I don’t understand the sense of urgency that God feels. I spend my days doing things that please me and so seldom I seek what pleases my God who I claim to be my King. I call him my King but I bow down before something else.

I forget that a multitude is waiting on me – for me to take that one step of obedience to Christ. I make my choices as if it concerns only me and no one else. I am busy decorating my self with things that God gave me to bless others. I forget that weapons if not used will lose their sharpness and thus lose their very purpose.

I must remember I was created for Him. I must remember his love and care. With him I will live and without him I will wither.

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