Coming through a broken engagement

You are sleeping, sobbing and confined to your room. You are looking at your engagement ring, pictures and tearing some of them into pieces. You reach for a new tissue role, wipe your tears or was it running nose, whatever, and toss the tissue ball among hundreds of them around you. Well, let me tell you I understand. I have been there and done that. You feel like dying. You feel like there is no hope for you. You feel totally rejected and abandoned. You feel angry and helpless. I know exactly how you feel.
My own engagement died a real slow death. It was month of November or December. It began dying long before it took the last breath. I remember that night. After saying final goodbyes online, I walked home. It was late at night. Street was dark and empty. I could hear the dogs howling in far distant. I walked as if my legs were numb. I could hardly feel the ground. I kept breathing in deeply. I held my arms around so tight as if to contain everything inside my chest. I don’t remember how long it took me to reach home but once I was there – I just had to lock the door – the minute I did, everything spilled on the floor. Tears, running nose, tissue roles, pictures, gifts, and of course my self prostrate on the floor.
If he had truly loved you for who you are, he would have never done anything to hurt you or to hurt the relationship.
In my case, I pulled off the strings first and said, enough! Let’s put it to end. Still, I felt the sting of rejection. I knew if he had loved me enough, he would have never done anything to hurt me. Today, years later, I feel that break up was a turning point of my life. My life completely changed after that. I changed for better. I went for better things in life. I discovered a new strength and ability in me. Yes, there were times when I whished I could go back but that was only during first one or two years. I think I became more myself after that.
Some times things happen for good reasons. No matter how wrong he might have been, I am sure pain was his share too. It is no use for us to play blame game. We just need to embrace the reality and move on with our lives. It is best that you never get in touch until you are completely over it. It was very helpful to me that the person was in another country and our communication came to a full stop. You may seek comfort in trying to talk to them but it will be even more painful trying to put up an act.
Why regret for someone who really didn’t want to go for things same as you. If his priorities have changed, if his values have changed, what’s the use of even wishing that things would somehow work out? Yes, it is unfortunate that his eyes should open only after having walked half the road. It is unfortunate that he was clueless of what he was getting into when he offered that shining ring. It is unfortunate but it is not the end of the world. You have a whole life ahead of you – life of love and happiness.

From experiences of my own and that of my friends this is the type of person who breaks your heart:

Type One: He is driven by his own dreams idyllic life. Having a woman, a family and home. He is passionate about his dreams and desires. This man can replace you any minute he finds someone better. Because he is going for his dreams – not for you.

Type Two:  He has nothing else happening in his life so he thinks better get engaged to the girl he is dating. A jobless, aimless man is looking out for opportunities to be somewhere – and the minute he sees that opportunity he will abandon you.

Type Three: He can be easily convinced. He does everything that you say. He shrinks when his mother calls up. This man is controlled and emotionally manipulated. Basically, he doesn’t have his own brain. No matter how good he makes you feel, he could easily shift his loyalties.

Type Four: He is confused most of the time. He wants to do this and that and everything. He is a dangerous man. Suddenly he may get confused about the relationship – Send this man for a meditation to sort out himself.

Type Five:  He always says first I will find a good job, and then he says first I will save some money, and then he says first I will buy a house, and again he says first let me reach this position – you know this man is wasting your youthful age. He is making you grow old on promises– run away from him as far as you can.